The A’s are caught, once again, digging through the trash

Is there any more pitching in there? We need bullpen help.

I’m sitting on the toilet regretting last nights consuming of toxic sludge and listening to the Minutemen “Shit You Hear at Parties,” and it is 1 minute and 11 seconds of pure L.A. South Bay punk rock gold. Immediately after, I had an ex-girlfriend randomly text me to talk about this, that, or the other and I sort of had to stifle a chuckle. There was a time, long ago, that my sister had bought Tears for Fears tickets for just the two of us, and I couldn’t magically conjure a third ticket from the already sold-out show from thin air or my asshole so an argument and an unsubstantiated break-up ensued. (So much for “Sowing the Seeds of Love”) Pleasant reminiscing quickly turned to anger and I scatter-brained a quick click on the “block” button and let out a sigh. Disaster averted and personal level of Zen attainment unchallenged. Let’s check the news…shall we?

Nothing can gloss my eyes over quicker than billionaires arguing over revenue sharing and salary caps, yet I see that the Brokeland Pathetics continue to “piss in the ocean” and threw the fans into a fervor by acquiring pitcher Cole Irvin from the Phillies on layaway, (cash considerations) essentially doing their yearly dumpster diving and claiming to be cash poor, virtually homeless and small market. According to Forbes, owner John Fisher is currently worth $2.9 BILLION and thus is one of the richest owners in all of baseball. (Where’s Walter Haas when you need him?) As of this writing, the team currently sits $121 million under the luxury tax and has yet to sign a single free agent. This team is essentially banking on “Moneyball” rhetoric to pacify nitwit, short-sighted sports fans as close-fisted owners continue to profit off unprecedented increases in MLB revenues. In the end, sadly, my main concern and desperate priority concerning the A’s for the next decade isn’t winning, but their commitment to staying in Oakland.
As the world turns…

This Cole Irvin kid has had a terrible pro career but he absolutely tore up AAA for some team called the Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs. This leads to more confusion. Why would the Phillies give up on a guy that had an iota of talent for cash? And what exactly is an Iron Pig? In the end, we have become what Cubs fans used to be (without the idyllic ballpark): happily skipping to the yard to have a hotdog, beer, some sunshine, and a good time with the kids or grandpa, but ultimately having no delusions about a chance to win the “worthless piece of metal.” (Hello Rob Manfred!) It’s certainly disheartening when you see a young, fun, and razzle-dazzle “small market” team like the Padres signing big-time free agents, but that’s been the life of an A’s fan for the past 30 years or so. We are simply and inexorably the Ramen Noodles of pro sports, and Irvin settles nicely into that “cheap” and “organizational depth” category that the Oakland front office will happily pluck off the swap meet scrap heap. In the end, what do I know?… I’m just an ill-informed gasbag who is now stepping off his soapbox to happily one day put more money in the pockets of the grifters known as MLB. It’s a disgusting and hypocritical cycle and proves that the opinions of sports fans are often silly and redundant.

11 thoughts on “The A’s are caught, once again, digging through the trash

  1. William Miller

    I played “Walking the Cow” over and over on a trip out to Washington State in the Spring of ’93 on my VW Golf cassette deck. That was also my first year playing in a Fantasy Baseball League. Roberto Alomar was my first overall pick.

    1. Gary Trujillo Post author

      Bill I just took a pic in front of the famous Daniel Johnston mural in Austin, TX a few weeks ago. Weird. I never play fantasy baseball, but if you still do play I have a friend who swears by Whit Merrifield. A little insider information. (wink, wink) Thanks for the comment, haven’t heard from you in a while so it’s nice to hear from you.

  2. Ken Dowell

    When iron ore is processed in a furnace it produces bars of iron called pigs. The iron pigs are then used to make different products. Probably used to be ironworks in the Allentown area where they play. I’ve been to an Iron Pigs game. Nice ballpark.

  3. SeaGuy

    Me thinks your perspective is that of somebody who has grown familiar with an environment a rung or two above Mariners’ hapless/hopelessness. (and not that I care, as I rise and fall with the A’s fortunes, as you do)

    There remains just one city in present day Major League Baseball which has never so much as even hosted a World Series game.

    Now mind you, I do know of what you speak from A’s perspective, and I will admit that the unforgettable attendance figure (“six-hundred-and-fifty-three”) was IN Oakland, but still, at least the A’s have a past to cling to. (er, not THAT ‘past’ exactly)


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