The Ass-tros prove to be ass-holes

nana nana boo boo, go stick your head in doo doo.

Baseball, in its never ending quest to mind-fuck, has presented me with more questions than a Jim Morrison midnight acid trip on a Santa Monica beach during the apocalypse of the Four Horsemen while a werewolf rubs salt crystals on his body and howls at the moon.

In the baseball scandal of the decade, protagonist Mike Fiers announced that his teammates, the Houston Astros stole catcher signs electronically during their 2017 World Series title, relegating the team to the moral garbage heap of Pete Rose, Barry Bonds and the 1919 White Sox. Every ill-informed gas-bag has thrown their opinion into the fray, and I suppose I must do the same considering that I subscribe to both.

The above offense certainly slanders baseball’s unwritten rules, and the Astros should be punished accordingly. The coaches that knew about/masterminded the offense should be suspended for life or fired, but the World Series title shouldn’t be taken away (although Yankees and Dodgers fans may disagree) as that would cause even more confusion and would destroy what little credulity the average working class fan has in a large, money-hungry conglomerate such as MLB. Let this be a reminder and momento mori for what little integrity there was in America’s Game. Commissioner Rob Manfred, largely ornamental and as interesting as a piece of blank paper certainly has a conundrum of epic proportions on his hands.

Fiers and the Astros will forever be tangled in a 21st century sociological courtship of slander, deceit and moral ambiguity…until the next scandal. The whole ball of wax is exhausting, tiresome and seemingly never ending. Welcome to big league sports and modern day capitalism.

6 Comments

It reminds me of my coach I had in Little League Baseball back in the mid 1960’s.
Coach Merlino always said, “It doesn’t matter if you win or lose….as long as you cheat.”… “If you’re not cheating, you’re not trying is another quote stated by some unknown player or coach….Let’s face facts, NOTHING is on the up and up anymore.

I’m a Dodger and no I wouldn’t want the title to be given up but I hope they do come down on them with more than a slap on the wrist.

that’s quite a mind fuck in the first paragraph! All of it excellent, not the mind fuck but the way you express it Morrison LSD apocalypse and so on. I don’t know what to think about all of this cheating, maybe David Byrnes “Same as it ever was” or I like the way you put it – “21st century sociological courtship of slander, deceit and moral ambiguity…until the next scandal.”

I absolutely agree that all of it is excellent!!!! This is one of your best posts to date! I love the way you so accurately and awesomely described the situation – although my favorite line is this one:

“the Houston Astros stole catcher signs electronically during their 2017 World Series title, relegating the team to the moral garbage heap of Pete Rose, Barry Bonds and the 1919 White Sox” Thanks for including Bonds because he is right there with Rose and the Black Sox!

Tbh, at first I thought that the Astros should be stripped of their trophy but in one moment you changed my mind,
“The coaches that knew about/masterminded the offense should be suspended for life or fired, but the World Series title shouldn’t be taken away (although Yankees and Dodgers fans may disagree) as that would cause even more confusion and would destroy what little credulity the average working class fan has in a large, money-hungry conglomerate such as MLB”

And finally, you couldn’t have described Rob Manfred any better than this … perfect!

“Commissioner Rob Manfred, largely ornamental and as interesting as a piece of blank paper certainly has a conundrum of epic proportions on his hands.”

I love this post! Thanks for writing it! It’s so on point and well written! 🙂

Hey Jen, thanks for your lovely comment.

I always call it like I see it!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: