Archive for the ‘ games ’ Category

Dodger Stadium and the “all you can eat” section.

 

me hot dogI’m not sure if I believe in chakras or not but mine certainly weren’t aligned Friday night as I stepped into Dodger Stadium to watch the Blue Crew take on the hated Anaheim (I refuse to call them Los Angeles as they don’t play in the city or even the county!) Angels. We sat in the right field all-you-can-eat section and loaded up on hotdogs, peanuts, popcorn and nachos. I immediately spilled nacho sauce down my shirt.
Strike one.
Japanese import Kenta Maeda was on the mound for the Dodgers so there were large groups of Japanese walking up and down the aisles with the men mostly wearing suits and ties and the women looking “smart for the office.” At one point a tiny Japanese girl walks by and spilled a hotdog right into my lap. My leg is now completely covered in mustard and relish. She apologized profusely in scant English and I felt really terrible for her. I told her everything was ok and went to clean myself off in the bathroom.
Strike two.
The Dodgers can’t do a darn thing and eventually lose 5-1.
Strike 3.
It was fun watching the drunk guy in front of me entertain the crowd with some well-timed jokes, “Angels suck” chants and profuse booing of Albert Pujols. His wife cackled at every spectacle. A girl a few seats behind me vomited everywhere. My girlfriend was trying to get center fielder Joc Pederson to wave at her which he eventually did. She was smitten, and he just might be one of her new favorite Dodgers. (She’s a Dodgers fan.) I’ve always been a bleacher-creature kind of guy and the free food thrown in made this a really fun, yet grimy game. We got home around 11 o’ clock and I immediately threw my clothes in the washing machine. trash aftermath
Opening day is on Monday. Let’s go Oakland!

The “cheese” goes to game 5.

entrance This is a short, rather funny account of his trip to game 5 submitted by one of the most awesome and dedicated readers of this and the facebook page , (check it out if you haven’t already)  Don “the cheese” Queso. enjoy!

As i made the 10 minute drive to the park from my house, I cant help but get a nervous energy rush over me thinking of last years post season. We were bested by a bunch of assholes in our own house. After a  45 minute parking war, 6 pack of corona and 5 fatties burnt to a CRISP I’m in my mode and ready to hunt tigers. Entering the park the crowd is all hopeful and feeling confident about the game. I’m greeted by a few familiar faces as i make my way to my seat and run into a troll wearing a Tigers hat and A’s jersey. I swiftly inform him its a better idea to wear KKK sheet to million man march and that he’s a fucking jinx!

he mad.

he mad.

I proceed on my short trek to section 227 and quickly accumulated 3 rally towels instead of the 1 that they give at the gate. My spirits are higher than they had been all day, feeling like runs wouldn’t be an issue. Finally I’m at my seat and yelling for the A’s to get it done. After 3 no hit innings for both teams the nervousness sets back in. Gray finally gives up a hit . Up comes Miguel Cabrera and slaps a lazy 2 run home-run in the 4th. A sense of urgency quickly rushes over me. the A’s aren’t hitting and I’m surrounded by drunk assholes that don’t know the game, players or even the score, and its pissing me off to no end. I stand up and tell them they need to pull their shit together. A few more innings go by and the green and gold can’t even make any contact or even a loud out. Its making me sick to my stomach, they play their asses off for 162 + games just to come home and blow it all in front of 43.000 fans. This isn’t what I wanted to see or people I wanted to be around. I’ve been to more games in 1 week than these assholes have all season, so after 7 no hit innings I’ve had enough and took the walk of shame back to my truck. Call me fair weather or bandwagon but I call it educated. The boys weren’t playing like themselves. Some calls were going the other way, and to top it all off the “A’s killer ” Verlander was dealing like he was in a Las Vegas poker room. I listen to the game on the radio on the way home and then catch the final 8th and 9th innings on the tube. The tigers closer Benoit is struggling and doesn’t have “the goods,” and allows the A’s first consecutive base runners of the night. Up comes our last hope Seth Smith. He takes some admirable hacks but in the end leaves 2 on with a lazy fly out to right, and with that goes another year of the Verlander curse. It was a good season but like our guy BIlly Beane says “if you don’t win the last game of the season it doesn’t matter.”  So bring on the Tiger and Giants trolls because through it all I will always bleed GREEN & GOLD!

awwwwwwww...yeah. vape pen time!

awwwwwwww…yeah. vape pen time!

Another trip to the “Big A.”

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you can’t see the Rickey Henderson pin on my right titty in this pic

I drag my Dodgers loving girlfriend down to Anaheim once a year to see the A’s play the Angels because, well, the A’s are the greatest team on the planet, so fuck you. We do our usual pre- game routine of buying bottled water, sunflower seeds and other assorted bric-a-brac and then we’re off on the 45 minute drive south of Los Angeles to a place known as Anaheim. I’m not going to get into it here about my feelings on the O.C. (we get into that later) but let’s just say I think it’s homogenized crap.

We get to the stadium rather uneventfully and I say to the gfriend, “hmmm…the parking is much easier here than at Dodger stadium.”
“That’s because it’s in the middle of a city, this is a suburb!” she shoots back. Fair enough.

It’s 80 degrees outside. A perfect California night, and I’m feeling good as we begin to take the escalators to our upper deck seats. Now, there is a back story here. (Although readers Scott, Katrina, and Don “the cheese” will make fun of me unmercifully for this one.) I almost ALWAYS buy the cheap seats, wait the unwritten baseball rule of 3 innings, and then move to a better seat of my mood and choosing. (this has worked in Seattle, Oakland and San Diego) So I do this, buying 5 dollar seats off of some cynical asshole on stub hub and then pat myself on the head for a job well done. Dear readers, for future reference….THIS DOES NOT WORK IN ANAHEIM OR LOS ANGELES. These stadiums are not as “fan friendly” when it comes to common sense. Ahem. So my plan failed. Fuck you.

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oooh! take my pic for facebook!

The game starts and the A’s scratch across 2 runs in the 2nd, and then a Howie Kendrick jack in the bottom half of the inning makes it 2-1. Ok, we got a ballgame.
gfriend: (who is proud of her Salvadorian heritage, mind you.)
” The vibe is different here, and the crowd is so…..white. All this red reminds me of Republicanism.”
No doubt, sweetheart. I hate the Angels and John McCain too.
Top of the 3rd: Jed Lowrie golfs a three run tater off Garrett Richards that barely clears the out of town scoreboard in left center for a 5-1 lead. I notice then that the Red Sox aren’t playing tonight. Tommy Milone does his best job of fucking it up in the bottom half, giving up a bases drunk double to Howie Kendrick to cut the lead to 5-4. I’m upset and even say a few un-choice words about Tommy boy under my breath, but I want to seem cool in the enemies ballpark, so I let it go. A few innings go by, and we make fun of everyone around us who seem to be checking Facebook on their phones.

 Top 7th: “Boss” Moss hits one of the HIGHEST jacks I have ever seen into the Angels right field “shit dump,”
(I have no idea what it is…but it looks ghastly) to make it 7-4. I don’t know about you, but to me, this guy will be long remembered as one of my favorite Oakland A’s. Raw power and passion with a fucking red George Michael beard = bad ass mother fucker. The A’s bullpen effectively holds the Halos down, and they scratch together a few more runs to make it 10-5 as the Angels fans leave en masse to our delight (parking issues,dog!) Grant “gives me a fucking heart attack or puts me to sleep” Balfour comes in, walks a couple of guys, throws a shit load of pitches (his innings always seem as long as the first 8) and finally ends the game by striking out Hank Conger. There was a strange feeling that Angels fans had conceded. Even the victory was sort of bitter-sweet as I couldn’t wait for the playoffs, ergo the passion to start. We pass the strip club down the street and listen to oldies the rest of the way as the gfriend asks me about who I think the Dodgers will play in the playoffs.

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oh yeah, i went down to the first base side to take pics of A’s fans when I saw THIS fucking guy, Mr. Rivercat.

sidenotes:  Angel dogs are infinitely better than the Dodger dog. I will fight you if you disagree.

Tommy Milone has 12 wins. I can’t remember a pitcher who had so many wins and received so much criticism because he had “lost it” so quickly. The baseball gods are a fucking trip, man.

Howie Kendrick with a jack and 4 RBI’s. Always thought that dude was solid.

Josh Reddick has 55 RBI’s in a year that was a DISASTER with injuries. He’s going to be a special player when he gets right.

Daric Barton hasn’t been Mr. “look at a bazillion pitches” lately and he’s a better hitter for it.

A.J. Griffin was supposed to start this game. I was disappointed when he didn’t.

Two words: NO YO. bummer.

When the Rally Monkey crap started on the scoreboard, 2 Angels fans behind me said, “yeah, we’ll start our rally….in spring training next year!” Hilarious.

                                                    Mike Trout K’d 3 times. I’m lovin’ it.

The “miracle” A’s!

     ” Anything can become an obsession, but baseball in particular appeals to the fanatical personality, and it’s an especially congenial companion in today’s introspective, isolationist world.”

.       I woke up excited and elated about game number 162 and the fact that the winner between the A’s and the Rangers would be the champion of the A.L. West. Not being the superstitious type, I, for some peculiar reason decided that if I listened casually, the A’s would have a better shot at winning as my stress level would somehow cosmically relax my guys into some quality AB’s. My incredibly unscientific theory was working as the A’s scored a run in the bottom of the first while I was barely paying attention and reading books on 80’s hardcore and Dadaist theory. The baseball gods, however, didn’t think much of this and took it out on poor A.J. Griffin in the top of the 3rd as he was knocked around for 5 runs (4 earned) while I’m screaming (and paying full attention now) at Bob Melvin for hooking him 2 batters too late. “At least we still have the wildcard spot,” I say to myself as I’m reading about Henry Rollins working in an ice cream shop pre-Black Flag. I had told my friends that this was a team of destiny, and felt righteously ashamed as the A’s put up a 6 spot in the bottom of the 4th on Ryan “The Dumpster” Dempster and Derek “Pubic mustache” Holland (2 of which came on a lazy Yoenes Cespedes popup to center that Josh “I can’t hit during the day because I have blue eyes” Hamilton dropped in the blazing California sun. I’d like to imagine it was because he was bothered by the pot smoke billowing from the bleachers. (He had complained about this during the 2010 World Series in San Francisco, and didn’t see it as compassionate because of his ex- drug addict status.) Little- used Evan Scribner and the rest of the ‘pen shut down the bad guys the rest of the way as the A’s piled on 4 more runs in the 8th, sending Oakland fans into a delirium and a place long forgotten… A.L. West champs. Did my theory work? Fuck it…. who gives a shit! I love these guys! Bring on the Tigers!

The “Big A”

me and my buddy, josh (right) giving the thumbs down to the Angels 2002 World Series trophy. (note the old school Mariners cap…. he is forgiven)

I recently made a trip to Anaheim Stadium to catch the A’s play the Angels in a “must win”  game for both teams; a place I hadn’t been to since I was a young boy living in Buena Park with my grandparents….a span of 20 plus years. My grandfather and I were A’s fans, yet we enjoyed quite a few games at the “Big A” in the days of Wally Joyner, Lance Parrish and Mark Langston. The old cowboy and Hollywood legend Gene Autry still owned the team, and 80 something year old Jimmie Reese, who was the conditioning coach, was still roaming the field. The old man was called up to the Yankees in 1930 and was Babe Ruth’s roommate on the road, or as Reese explained, “I roomed with the Babe’s suitcase.” Reese coached the ball- club for 22 years until he died in 1994.
Times had changed. All three of the old men in the paragraphs above were long dead, and I was back in the ol’ ballpark not ready to re-live memories, but to watch the Elephants kick some ass and take no prisoners. (there’s a playoff spot at stake for fuck’s sake) The stadium was vastly “improved” since I had been there; from the large idiotic Disney-esque rock formation in center field to the gigantic Jack in the Box sign beyond that.  My girlfriend, (a Dodgers fan may I add) thought that the crass commercialism on the Jumbotron between innings was off-putting. “Even the hotdogs are better at Dodger Stadium,” she said. I agreed that this display of capitalism and homogenized commerce in the county known for its conservative Republican values was indeed off-putting. “Yes, but we hit more in this league,” I answered.

Yoenis Cespedes, the young Cuban who has one of the quickest bats I’ve ever seen hit a miraculous, long soaring jack to left center. The brilliance was confounded by super-rookie Mike Trout, and his attempt to rob him. Angels fans rose en masse, ready to see their new hero pull odd another amazing feat. He came up short. The wind went out of the stadium. The score was 1-0 and the desperation rose quickly. “How could a bunch of NOBODIES be doing this to us with our 126 million dollar payroll?” Angels fans seemed to be saying. By the time Brandon “The Boss” Moss hit a two run jack to left center in the 5th, we knew it was over. The fans were pleading for the man who had caught it to throw it back, but to no avail. Coco Crisp even added an inside the park job as creeky kneed, 35 year old, over- payed Torii Hunter couldn’t fish a ball out of the corner and it skipped passed him while Mr. Crisp jack-rabbited around the base paths to make it 6-2. Triple and E-9. Grant “The cardiac kid ” Balfour did his best to blow the game even yelling a few obscenities at the umpire on his way out with a 6-5 lead and a man on first and 3rd with no outs. I was yelling a few at Balfour myself and quickly felt vindicated as I had told a buddy of mine before the inning had started that Balfour was like a hooker at a truckstop… always getting rocked. The crowd stood the rest of the game as Jerry “Clutch” Blevins (as he will now be called) nailed  down the game by striking out Kendrys Morales and getting Howie Kendrick to ground out 5-4-3 for the victory. There was no joy in Mudville that night….. nobodies indeed.