Bring on the lying, sniveling cheaters known as The Asterisks

What a series. I aged about 10 years and definitely acquired a few gray hairs. At times I was sweating like a whore in church, and at other moments I didn’t know what to do besides pace and stare at my fingernails. It wasn’t lost on me that this series started exactly one day after the 100th anniversary of the Black Sox scandal. Did the baseball gods still care? This club hadn’t won an elimination game since game 7 of the 1973 World Series-that is-never in my lifetime. The Sox had a vivid fashion sense, were known for “Cadillac-ing it,” had the best pure hitter in the league, and the probable MVP. That being said– let’s dive right in, shall we? (To be frank: I absolutely despise series recaps on blogs. They are humdrum and as dull as dishwater. I know, what a hypocrite.)

Game 1: The gods certainly must have stifled a chuckle when the front office (or Melvin?) decided to start LH pitcher Jesus “Jesus Lizard” Luzardo in game 1, garnering a snarky response from Tim Anderson whose Sox were 14-0 against such freaks of nature.  And rightly so, as after the (predictable) loss it was almost a universal feeling from the fan base, with torch and pitchforks, that it was time for Bob Melvin and Billy Beane to make their exodus. The power of frustration compels me! Sox 4 A’s 1

Game2: Chris Bassitt my be the best pitcher in the A.L., and he proved it by shutting down the powerful Sox lineup, saving the season, and maybe Melvin’s managerial career in the green and gold. Mark Canha made an incredible catch in LF giving all the old coots LSD flashbacks of Joe Rudi in the1972 WS and essentially saving the game. Dallas Keuchel couldn’t get out of the 4th, the South-Siders tried to make a late-inning comeback, even loading the bases in the 9th before being shut down by Jake Diekman. A’s 5 Sox 3

Game 3: A HUGE 4 run 4th inning erased a 3-0 deficit and an absolute feeling of deflation and the “here we go again” sentiment that the fans were universally experiencing. This game could be forgotten as the playoffs mature, but for now it is one of the biggest wins I’ve had the pleasure of watching. It really could have gone either way as both teams left a lot of ducks on the pond in big situation after big situation before a 5.5 hole stinger by Chad “Swiss Army Knife” Pinder scored two runs and cemented the eventual final. Sox manager and hot head Rick Renteria made some baffling pitching decisions, playing “3-D chess” and pulling his starter in the 1st after 2/3 of an inning and using SIX pitchers to get the first 12 outs. A classic case of over-thinking, and now the fan base wants him strung up. What a strange managerial flip-flop. In the end, it wasn’t our problem as it was the Elephant’s first series win since 2006 and gives us an invite to Dodger Stadium to exact sweet revenge on the Asterisks. A’s 6 Sox 4

“I know a lot of people are mad. I know a lot of people don’t want to see us here,” shortstop Carlos Correa said. “But what are they going to say now?” I know what I would say: you won a “Wild Card” 3 game series and haven’t accomplished jack shit. Your pitching is weak. Quit playing the victim. My inner Joe Biden wanted to say, “Will you shut up, man?” If this team was a living annex of your personality, you would cheat on your wife and then return home to blame it on some other shmuck with an unapologetic smirk. Classic blame-shifting. It’s the Oakland A’s and every other fan in the baseball world vs. The Asterisks, and they need to be humbled in the worst kind of way. “Bang a Gong,” as Marc Bolan famously sang, and not a trash can. A’s in 4. 

15 Comments

That was far from a boring recap. Great post, as usual. Go As!

Thanks ,Keith. Nice to hear from you.

Everyone in baseball except The Asterisks fans will be praying to the baseball Gods for an A’s win. I would love to see the A’s go far.

I would be content with someone punching Carlos Correa in the grill, but a series victory would be nice.

I know this is asking too much…but what about both? A baseball wet dream.

reds petered out in 2 games. a replay of 1990 would have been cool. anyway, you still got something to look forward to in these tough times. good for you. good luck to your team.

Man, you guys need some bats!

Oh yeah, I agree, winning the series is not enough. If the baseball gods truly exist, they will be swept, humiliated, embarrassed and have every single unapologetic word thrown back in their cheating, obnoxiously-misguided prideful faces. If not by the A’s, then by the Dodgers who are righteously owed and deserve a chance at redemption.

Baseball itself and all its fans deserve this. It’s in the hands of the baseball gods now — “So Let it be written, so let it be done”

And guess who the team was that got drilled the most this season? The A’s!!! Ugh.

No worries. The Asterisks will more than double that stat the year the fans are allowed back. Even Manfred Man is going to be hard pressed to stop it! Fan backlash at all the suspensions will make his job a living hell! Revenge man! It’s the American way!

A short series, by design, is a nail-biter. As a Braves fan, the 13-inning, 1-0 game was tense all the way through. It is so important to win that first game, and in a game like that, one play can turn the entire series (like getting thrown out trying to go first to third or a failed double steal). Great recap and spot-on observation on the Astros. You would think Correa would have enough sense to keep his mouth shut about the sign-stealing scandal–or not. The only thing I can stand about the Astros is Dusty Baker. I don’t want Oakland to merely knock them out; I want the A’s to humiliate them. And finally, has their been a better defensive first baseman than Matt Olson since J.T. Snow?

I watched a bit of every game in that series. The Braves are legit and you have reason to be excited. The Marlins are a good story but it’s time for them to go home.
Olson is amazing, and when it’s all said and done might be one of the best defensive first basemen in baseball history. The purest “3 true outcome” player in the league today for whatever that’s worth.

Knocking out the Asterisks will make the world a better place to live.

“sweating like a whore in church” — you certainly do have a way with words 😂

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