This is “Tar Man” from “The Return of the Living Dead,” the greatest zombie movie of all time. You can thank me later.
In lieu of baseball, I’ve been watching a lot of movies; and you’d be surprised by how many flicks there are about nuns possessed by the devil, nazi zombies, and undead sharks. There is even a film, I kid you not, titled “Killer Sofa,” with the protagonist being a piece of furniture with a mean streak. MLB should take note, especially in modern day, about how many diversions are available to a slack-jawed couch potato like me. I’m a hardcore baseball fan in the average age range of your typical MLB consumer and even I don’t care if baseball comes back in 2020. Something is very wrong here. They say Rob Manfred is a lawyer but does that title still have any meaning after the frontal lobotomy?
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The Red Sox recently released a statement confirming that some of their deplorable fan base uses racial slurs, which was a great first step in race relations, but doesn’t racism begin at home? The Sox didn’t sign their first black free agent until 1992 (!) and still to this day have NEVER had a black manager. If your fans are a “reflection of larger systemic issues that as an organization we need to address,” than why don’t you start with yourselves and whatever dumb ass policies that you adhered to before June of 2020? My guess is that they were too busy stealing signs to even give a shit…the whole “storied franchise” can burn in hell with now deceased, noted racist philanthropist and former Red Sox owner Tom Yawkey for all I care.
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It’s recently come to my attention that some of the “gatekeepers” of baseball writing don’t take kindly to my presence in the grandiose and accolade-laden world of baseball blogging. (insert heavy eye roll here) I’m apparently a pariah among these very same anachronistic baseball writers who learned their trade either by replicating newspaper hacks or idealistic, fluffy poets who want to lovingly reminisce about the “good old days” (ok, Boomer) and never saw the game from a critical perspective. These same writers, who I assume to be literary experts, are compelled to criticize but still can’t pull their eyes away from lil ol’ me. In the end it’s just a pissing contest in which I never wanted to be involved. I started this project for simple enjoyment and to connect with fans of a singular baseball team, not to compare and contrast book deals, MLB connections and dick size. (which I would win anyway because most of you are old, shriveled up fart bags.)
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–Support black owned businesses always, and not just during June 2020.
–Read black authors always, and not just nonfiction books about racism.
–Oh my gosh, please just wear a dang mask.
Coco Crisp's Afro 
I like your stuff. I guess that means I’m not a “gatekeeper.” Sounds like a lousy job with little fringe benefits.
Keep it up, G.T.
v
Thanks v. that means a lot.
Baseball needs more voices like yours speaking truth. Fuck the haters. Fight the power!
Well at least I gotta me punk rock credibility. Haha!
I’m with v on this one Gary. I like your writing, always have, and this one adds to a long list of great posts! I always thought there was some sort of justice in two black athletes being such important players in the Red Sox 2004 wheel – Manny and Papi…justice because I think the Red Sox were the last team to integrate. The Pirates should be the “storied” franchise. The other day I watched a doc about the 71 Bucs. I knew of a game when the manager penciled in an all-minority starting line-up. But I didn’t know or I forgot it was Danny Murtaugh and the 71 Pirates. Makes that kind of special team, a special manager. I wonder if the MLB Network ran the doc because of what’s been going on. I love thinking that baseball or a baseball tv station would play a part in destroying racism.
Thanks for the lovely comment, Steve. I’ll have to check out that doc on the Pirates. I think I heard about the all black/latino lineup somewhere but for some reason it slipped my mind.