Houston, we have a problem! (Did Mike Fiers save baseball?)

He’s on Fiers!

“You better get your head and your ass together or I will take a giant shit on you.” –Full Metal Jacket (1987) or Rob Manfred to the Astros (2020)

The scandal involving the Houston Astros has been disputed and pondered more than all the John F. Kennedy assassination conspiracy theories combined and I’m just about to put it to bed with a lullaby and an Ambien. The waltz of the heart and mind just wont let me contemplate ostentatious behavior for too long before the disappointment of the inevitable keeps me looking elsewhere for a more positive spin on things. Baseball, with its cult of the masculine hero-worship all but cold and lifeless should think about robot players…never mind the umpires. We will cease to worry about self-centered, money hungry, skin-sack douche-bags–at least until the robots rise up and destroy humanity a la The Terminator.

Where’s Kyle Reese when you need him?

Alas, no one really cares about baseball too much until football season is over and it looks like (at this point in time) former baseballer and pitcher Pat Mahomes’ son is going to showcase his unique skills in the Super Bowl. This is the time of year to huddle inside, watch some gridiron, avoid the cold, crush a few man-sodas and eat pounds of meat off the party tray after expertly picking around the gherkins and radishes. A friend of mine laughs at the new Budweiser “hard seltzer” commercial and compares it to Zima. He has no idea that these things are all the rage with college kids. Ok, Boomer.

That’s all I got for now…I’m off like a dirty shirt!

4 Comments

Gary

I don’t make it a practice to look at blogs of those who have decided to follow mine but decided to check yours out and I am glad I did. You have an incisive writing style and you are not afraid to speak truth to power. Keep it up and I promise to regularly check you out. John Klenakis- Riding the Local Train to Geezerville

Thanks, John. That is very kind of you to say. I must admit that the name of your blog caught my attention, and I thought it to be very funny and interesting.

Gary, I don’t know how to judge the whole cheating scandal and I say this because technically, it’s OK to steal signs as long as you don’t use technology.

I’m pulling for the Chiefs. End their drought. Enjoy the game!

You too, Steve. I’m pulling for the Chiefs as well, but I’m sure after a few beers it won’t matter.

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