Ex-marine uncovers reptilian aliens who turn out to be A’s fans.
Ex-marine Kyle Odom was arrested on Tuesday after shooting a prominent preacher twelve times in Idaho after claiming that the padre was in cahoots with reptilian aliens from Mars that have been here “long before us” have technology “millions of years ahead of ours.” These aliens had been harassing him for about two years after he contacted one during a meditation session. These hyper-sexual, paranoid aliens rule the Earth and have made President Obama their sex slave — a species of “amphibian-humanoids” that include dozens of U.S. politicians.
“The Martians came to Earth here before humans, live underground and bred humans so they can walk among us,” Odom wrote.
This blog was contacted by Ubbesk, the supposed leader of the alien species who wanted things to be cleared up.
“We have never contacted this man, Ubbesk said, and I have 4 witnesses that can tell you I was at a spring training game in Mesa on the day I supposedly contacted Mr. Odom.”
Ubbesk then went on to say that he has high hopes for the team this season and he is highly disappointed in the play of Billy Butler.
“The guy is a disgrace to the human species…I will never figure out why humans feel the need to consume so much pre-packaged crap.”