What in the world is going on!?

A's suck“The fact is, we’re not going to blow teams away right now playing short. It’s more frustrating when you’re losing and you can’t explain it, but we knew when we starting losing those guys that we had a challenge ahead of us. It doesn’t make me happy, but I understand why it is happening. We’re going to have to hope the rest of division treads water.” –Billy Beane on the injuries the Athletics have faced this season.

The 2015 Oakland Athletics’ season has all the elements of a fireworks display– first, the excited anticipation, then the spectacular show, a near deafening explosion, and finally, silence. As of this writing the team has lost six in a row and are currently residing in the cellar like a red-headed step-child. They lead the league, in a pathetic display, with errors…32. (2nd baseman Eric Sogard, by himself, has 3 errors. In contrast, Mark Ellis, he of the same position had a grand total of TWO in 123 games in 2006.)

We shouldn’t be so surprised to find the ancient spirit of Pythagoras in our modern ballparks. The world is now conceived in a quantitative way more than ever before and it is seen as constituted by numerical magnitudes. Here is a but a small taste of the numerical horrors that played out before our very eyes:

— Coco Crisp came off the D.L. and perhaps showed his age or lack of passion. He is 0 for his first 21.

— The bullpen is stinkier than diarrhea on a hot tin roof in a Southern heat wave. They are a collective 2-10 with a 5.18 ERA.

— Drew Pomeranz is is proving why the Rockies gave up on him so early; even as a promising “bonus baby.” He is the poor man’s Kenny Rogers….a very, very poor man from a third world country. He is 1-3 with a 5.13 E.R.A.

lawrie a hole shirt

KC fans and their desperate attempt to stay relevant in the baseball world.

Sure, there have been injuries and a bit of bad luck. Baseball is by definition the epitome of bad luck. Here are a few of the more exciting things to happen to the Oakland ball-club during this season so far: Brett Lawrie sliding into an over-rated Alcides Escobar, prompting fans in Kansas City to make the shirts on the right…

and two teammates standing next to each other in an unfortunate and funny display of the baseball gods coming together and dangling the proverbial losing yarn in your face.

semen-burns1

this is exactly why I always aim for the breasts.

Does that sum up the baseball season so far for the Oakland Athletics? In my humble opinion, yes. The rest of the baseball world laughs at Billy Beane’s failures hysterically as the faithful remain steady….and then as soon as there is a semblance of hope, ex-Giant Pablo Sandoval hits a game winning home run for the Red Sox in the 10th inning. I curse, shrug my shoulders and fall into a slumber. What does that feel like?

Semen in the eye.

9 Comments

A friend of my brother’s was in a punk rock band in Bellingham, WA in the early ’90’s called Caustic Semen. Turns out a girl they knew in college who was quite large and homely got drunk at one of their parties (before they officially became a band), and she entirely stopped an otherwise unremarkable conversation by blurting out, “Semen is very caustic.” Thus, the band’s chosen name.

quite the story! That was my generation of punk rock bearing so I can relate….after searching the innnernets for the band you named, the only thing I could find of interest was this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtmopJcBtuE

Yeah, I doubt you’ll be able to track down anything about them online. Mostly, they dubbed around town playing whichever venue was desperate enough for a band to fill some space once in a while. My brother’s friend is now working in the pharmaceutical quality control department for a company in Massachusetts, though he still enjoys listening to the Mekons, Firehose and Husker Du.

I skipped school to see Firehose at Cal St. Fullerton in oh….I’d say 1992. It was a great show. It was easy as my continuation school was directly across the street from the campus.

It could be worse. Connie Mack used to sell off the whole team, from time to time. Imagine losing Al Simmons, Lefty Grove, Jimmy Foxx, and Mickey Cochrane virtually all at once. Not to mention Frank Baker, Eddie Collins, Jack Barry, and Stuffy McInnis–the whole “$100,000 infield in one swell foop.

You’re absolutely right….with one BIG difference. Those teams spent money to win the World Series on multiple occasions.

I don’t know what to say. We have seen this before and we will see it again. We can just hope they can put something together before the season is done. But if they can’t, there’s next year.

I’m sanguine about the team’s prospects this year. Plenty of time for them to heat up.

As for KC’s reaction to Lawrie, one can only wish they’d look in the mirror. They seem to have put their own mark on the “bad behavior and poor professionals MLB scale” this year. I’d be pleased to see them lose every game from here on out.

I’m not a big fan of Brett Lawrie

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