Matt Chapman will now buy lunch for his future teammates that will make considerably less dough.

The Athletics newest “bonus baby.”

I usually don’t pay much attention to the MLB draft. By the time most of these guys even sniff the Majors I will probably be a different person physically, financially, mentally and perhaps even mortally. But, in this day and age it’s practically impossible not to hear some sort of information, and that’s exactly what happened as I was sipping a Corona and seeping in a hot tub. The media was lauding this as Bud Selig’s last draft (his desperation to go down in history was all but sealed when he became the first commissioner to unveil his own statue; a horrifically tacky move. I can’t imagine that sour-faced racist Kenesaw Mountain Landis doing such a thing….and really, did anyone in the history of man self-aggrandize themselves more?) when the Athletics drafted a kid out of Cal State Fullerton with the 25th pick.

“Holy Shit”, I thought, “I went to high school right across the street.”

That’s right…Fullerton, California.

( as the pot smoke clears….cue dream/reminiscent music)

I was sitting in class one day when the surfer kid with long, blonde flowing hair told me about a free concert at the college. (We had many “deep” conversations about how the Keanu Reeves movie, Point Break had bastardized surfing culture, and he knew I was highly involved in the local punk scene which consisted in playing in bands, setting up shows, putting out fanzines, making out, committing petty crimes, talking shit, and hanging out.)

“Dude, it’s Firehose….you remember Mike Watt right? The fucking Minutemen!”

Yep. We got some homeless guy to buy us beer, skipped school and saw an awesome show. (all before Matt Chapman was born in 1993!)

Obligatory ‘Fro scouting report: Mr. Chapman was undrafted out of high school, but seemingly grew into himself in college. Scout.com’s National Baseball Analyst Kiley McDaniel had this to say about Chapman in a recent scouting report: “I loved his infield and batting practice for Team USA, flashing huge raw power….. along with a plus-plus arm that some call an 80 and has hit the upper 90’s on the mound, though he’s thrown just a handful of innings in the last few years. Chapman is at least an average third baseman, so the only question is the bat. His performances haven’t been terrible, but he basically hasn’t shown the ability to hit and hit for power at the same time at any point in his career.”

The Athletics, always thinking ahead, know that this guy can be converted into a pitcher if he can’t hit professional pitching. He sees himself as a hard-nosed, scrappy player and that will always be of value in the Oakland system. I am going to give this pick a B minus….and now I am going back to the hot tub. Cheers.

 

 

4 Comments

It’s already a thing! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-1GeovVpCY

but you’re right…the jock version would be funny and a bit, well, homoerotic.

I agree with the motel 6 thing, complete with golf shorts, shady business dealings,cigars and lots of scotch.

Firehose, “Walking the Cow,” was my friend Steve Wade’s favorite song back in the day. He’d play it continuously when we lived together for a while in Bellingham, WA.

hmmmm….reminds me of this band…..https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eDepF_0khSM
btw Bill, I know a lot of music geeks from Washington….maybe too many!!!!

CSUF is very proud of Chapman! Tusks Up!

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