The heat finally got to me.

Moss 86

“1986 Topps”

I am trapped in my own thoughts–trapped in a no man’s land between feeling and articulation. The air is stale and dry. I’m watching the Athletics and the White Sox on the tube when Brandon Moss strikes out on a wicked “Uncle Charlie.” (Hitting coach Chili Davis didn’t see Moss as a “Punch and Judy” hitter, taught him to open up his hips and the power came naturally. Now he’s a dead pull hitter and one of the better home run hitters in the A.L.)

“Goddamn it!” I say as  the remote hits the ground with an uncommon zeal. Why do I care so much? Is this a character flaw? I know that the owners are egregious little shits that want to extort the most money they can from municipalities. (and nothing is worse than the person who magically becomes broke the second they have to spend money on something that isn’t to their immediate and unequivocal satisfaction) I know that stadiums don’t return their investments to their communities.  Yet, despite my contrarian attitude…I still care. Perhaps because adult life consistsjack of boredom, routine and petty frustrations that I enjoy this form of entertainment and escape. Perhaps I am like most Americans and I like to celebrate the inane. Perhaps I am just bullshitting myself to give this one-sided conversation some “lather.” I get tired of these tedious romantico-absurdist soul-searchings and it makes me feel like an incorrigible sack of shit.

I watch this game because it makes me feel safe for a moment. No amount of information regarding ice melting in Antarctica can faze me. (and no amount of dipshit Republicans denying it either) This game brings back memories of people that I have lost. Some people feel like they don’t deserve love. They enter empty rooms and close the door of the past behind them.

6 thoughts on “The heat finally got to me.

  1. glenrussellslater

    I like your writing, Gary. It flows very nicely. (Why do I sound like an English professor?)

    One thing, though. Not only are the owners selfish bastards (they tend to give to BOTH parties during elections to hedge their bets), but, I hate to tell you this, but most big league baseball players are registered Republicans. They make loads of money and want to protect their money. They don’t want to give back to the community! The selfish bastards.

    Imagine how disappointed I was when I looked on and other websites that tell about political contributions, and found out that George Thomas Seaver, one of my all-time baseball heroes, is a BIG Grand Old Party contributor. Even as far back as 1980, while he was still pitching for Cincinnati, he contributed 2,000 dollars to George Bush for president. I always assumed that he was fairly liberal, especially after taking out a full page ad in the New York Times about….. well, you can read it here…. I just found this……. and it’s from 1971.,6476455


    1. Gary Trujillo Post author

      Yep. You’re absolutely right Glen. I lost a lot of interest in baseball in the early 90’s because of the uber-capitalism involved. But I caught myself sneaking looks at box scores here and there. Eventually I said “fuck it,” If I enjoy something I’m going to consume it at all costs. I feel like a hypocrite and I’m probably a bad person. I’m not being facetious at all. I TRY to be a better person everyday, though. I’m just confused about what “better” actually means. Thanks for your compliment, I always look forward to them. If I lived in New York I’m sure we would have tossed back a few, got arrested and laughed about it for weeks afterwards.

    1. Gary Trujillo Post author

      Ha! I noticed (I think) that you mentioned your wife gets on your ass for blogging so much. So it isn’t just me after all. Thanks for being cool, Bill. I really enjoy your blog. Tell her you have a fan in Los Angeles. 🙂

      1. William Miller

        That’s very kind of you, Gary. Much appreciated. Truth be told, my kids get on me for being in front of this computer more than my wife does. She goes away on business trips often, so it’s just me and the boys quite a lot. But hey, at least I don’t let them starve to death, so it’s all good. 🙂

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